Having an outstanding relationship can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life, whereas being in a toxic relationship can be one of the most stressful things we will ever encounter. 

“Love is created and not found.”                     

-Manny Garcia-

I am about to share with you five golden pillars that provide the building blocks to an outstanding relationship that, when practiced every day, will create amazing lasting results. 

Read them, learn them, practice them, apply them, and share them with your significant other. Open your mind and focus on these concepts while envisioning the outcome you desire. Remember, just as when working out to build muscle, it takes time to create the results you want. So be patient and be consistent.

Pillar #1 – Let go of hurtful past experiences

Don’t bring negative baggage into your relationship. 

All that we know is in direct proportion with our past experiences, especially emotionally charged ones.

For example, if you were in a previous relationship where your partner cheated on you, most likely, you will develop insecurities trusting a future mate.  

The reason this happens is that we want to protect ourselves from getting hurt. On that same note, if we were cheated on by a couple of different partners in the past, then our “untrusting” belief system solidifies, and we become untrusting in all relationships.

If we want to enjoy the pleasures of true love, we have to learn to let go of the past, learn from our painful experiences, and allow ourselves to love openly. If we try to protect ourselves from getting hurt, then the chances are that we are not giving the relationship 100% and the relationship will suffer because of it. 

The past is the past, and there is nothing we can do about it other than learn from it and make better decisions in the future.  

The act of loving has to be unconditional, unselfish, honest, open, and constant. Just as in a game of poker, you have to be willing to go all-in.

Pillar #2 – Most times, the one you are looking for is the one already next to you.

Do you remember a time when you bought a new car? You were so excited and loved the fresh new car smell. You wanted to drive it all the time and would always keep it clean and well maintained. You would park it away from other cars so no one would scratch or dent it. As time went by, you stopped noticing the new car smell and might have even lost the thrill of driving it.  

Cars are finicky. If you take excellent care of them, they are most likely to be very reliable. However, if you didn’t take good care of them, the chances are they will become unreliable and unsafe.

The same is true of relationships. In the beginning, most relationships start-out exciting, passionate, spontaneous, meaningful, and fun. Couples can’t do enough for each other. They go out of their way to make each other feel special, wanted, and desired. They want to be with the other person all the time; take care of each other, and communicate all the time.

Eventually, the day comes where complacency kicks in, and communication dwindles. They get busy with other things and stop making each other a priority. The passion within the relationship is lost, making each day as unexciting as the next.

It’s at this very stage where outside influences may damage the relationship, and people begin to look for a “newer model.” We live in a very complex and competitive society nowadays where morals and values are becoming compromised by social status or social pressure. Many people today seek instant gratification, which is a dangerous emotional trigger.

Take a moment to remember back at a time when you were the happiest in a relationship. What did it feel like, what were you willing to do for the other person, how did you act and what actions did you take to ensure the other person felt special? 

Successful relationships leave clues. Do more of the same, and do more of what you did in the beginning. If we all do what we did in the beginning, there would never be an end. The act of loving has to be practiced and actively used every day, or it will become suffocated by the daily stresses of life.

It has been my experience that people who jump from relationship to relationship live a life of looking for love vs. creating it and usually end up unfulfilled.

As a test, give your mate everything you have for 90 days. Act as if you just met them, and you are dating again for the first time. Have fun doing so, create time, and eliminate all excuses such as kids, work, or house chores. If you are not willing to recharge your relationship, then who else will?

Pillar #3 – Know the needs of both your partner and your own.

Most people go through life unclear about what they want. In relationships, this issue compounds because people expect their partner to fulfill all their needs and, in most cases, without proper communication. Not even a genie can grant wishes without appropriate communication.

When we get into a relationship expecting our partner to fulfill our needs, we end up in a relationship “black-hole” and find ourselves lost and searching for an alternative “fix.”

Our focus determines our outcome in life. Can you think back at a time when you became attracted to a specific car, and then all of a sudden, you began to see it everywhere? The car was always there, but your focus wasn’t. 

When you shifted your focus on that particular vehicle, you then began to notice it more often. This same rule applies to relationships, and when you focus on what you want, you then will get closer to creating it.

There are two steps to this process that are instrumental. Step one is “know your needs” (the qualities you want within your partner) and Step two is “master your partner’s needs” (find out what they want and then give it to them).

Step one – “Know your needs.”

In this step, you must list all of the following three criteria of your ideal partner.

A) “Non-negotiables” or your “must-haves.”

B) “Preferred traits.” These are very important to you, but you can settle for a bit less.

C) “It would be nice” traits. These traits would be helpful within your partner, but either way won’t impact the relationship.

My mate will be like this:

A) My partner must have these qualities: (the list below is just an example; you must write down the qualities that are most important to you. Remember, these are must-haves, and your partner’s failure to meet these traits would be a deal-breaker).

i.e., I have a mate who

…believes in (a type of religion)

…is loyal, honest and truthful

…is a non-drug user

…is not a smoker

…is passionate

…is positive

…is humble

…is loving

…willing to have kids

B) I prefer to have a partner who: (list your preferred traits that have significant meaning to you, but you are willing to be flexible on).

i.e., I prefer to have a partner who

…helps me clean the house

…is spontaneous

…is a sports enthusiast

…likes to cook

…is open-minded to trying new foods

C) It would be nice to have a partner who: (here you list the traits that would be nice for your partner to have, but either way won’t affect the relationship)

i.e., It would be nice to have a mate who

…is organized

…is musically inclined

…is bi-lingual

…likes to skydive

…likes to give massages

Step two – “Master your partner’s needs.”

Have your partner do the same exercise and focus on what’s most important to them. If you genuinely love your partner, make the necessary adjustments within yourself to fulfill their needs.

Once you go through this process, if you are single, then now you know what to look for in a future partner. If you are already in a relationship, pay close attention to each other’s desires and work on aligning them for the overall health of the relationship. For this exercise to work, you have to put egos aside and listen intently to each other’s wishes. It’s also a fantastic idea to get to know what you each want to accomplish, such as material and personal growth goals. Then help each other get there.

Secret #4 – Seek to understand and know the outcome you desire

Can you remember a time when you disagreed with your partner, and you both got upset at each other? You argued and tried to communicate what you wanted to get across but felt as if the conversation went around in circles. You both deviated from the main issue and brought-up other things during the discussion that was unrelated but designed to be hurtful. You ended the conversation with no real resolve, then waited a few days to cool off, made-up, but still felt unfulfilled with the outcome. 

Well, you are not alone. Most couples go through this process, and it’s one of the main reasons why tension builds-up and cause even more issues as time passes.

There will always be times within the relationship when partners will disagree, and this is very healthy if done correctly. Couples that don’t disagree at times are a sign that one of the two people is compromising way too much and most likely very unfulfilled. It’s healthy to disagree and express one’s opinion, as long as it’s done the right way. Since emotions are very high during these moments, it’s essential to get clear on the outcome that you want to achieve and the issue at hand that you want to express.

First –

Get clear as to the source of your frustration and the exact outcome you wish to achieve after expressing yourself. Is the goal to make things worse or resolve the main issue? Your goal should be to articulate that which is bothering you in a way that your partner can understand where you are coming from. If needed, write it out ahead of time for them to read or for you to use as an outline.

Second –

Communicate your issue ASAP and don’t wait to add more issues on top of it; otherwise, the conversation will be much more strenuous and stressed.

Third –

Pick the right time to express how you feel. Pick a time when your partner can give you their full attention without any distractions. Let them know that something is bothering you and that you need to talk to them as soon as you can.

Fourth –

ALWAYS TREAT EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT!!! You must never curse at your partner nor call them hurtful names. Doing so will only have further destructive long-term effects that are nearly impossible to fix. 

Remember, your goal is to always build your partner up and not break them down emotionally. It’s easy to be an “ASS” and hurt the other person, but it’s rewarding when in times of stress and adversity, you can remain strong and not lose your composure. 

A good technique is to use a keyword or signal to let the other person know they are making you angry or hurting your feeling.  

Another technique, if you feel that the conversation is going south, is to take a break to rethink the situation and how you want to express yourself. Pausing to think before speaking is a very healthy practice that will make your communication more productive and have a more positive effect on the relationship.

Fifth –

Know your outcome. What is the result you want to achieve when arguing or communicating? Do you want to correct the issue or make the problem worse? Your communication will improve when you get super clear on the outcome that you wish to achieve. Most of the time, we become emotional about something and make emotional comments or decisions that don’t make any sense and only add negative fuel to the fire.

If this happens to you, ask yourself these following questions: Why are they upset? How can I make this better? What can I learn from this?

Remember, if you want an outstanding relationship, then you always need to take the high road and work at making it work.

Secret #5 – Know your true identity

Have you ever been in a situation whether at work or around other people where you had to pretend to be someone whom you were not? How did you feel? Did you feel empowered or disempowered? Did you feel appreciated or unappreciated? Did you feel confident or insecure? Did you feel like you could be your best or set to fail?

The chances are you have experienced this in the past, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience. About 50% of first-time marriages under the age of 45 ends in divorce. The leading cause for this is due to one or both people in the relationship losing their identity.

How and why is this possible? Well, it’s simple. To avoid confrontation, most of the time, one partner in the relationship gives up their internal power and slowly but inevitably forgets who they are and what they stand for. 

I have seen relationships that end in total catastrophe because the people in the relationship didn’t manage their identities properly. You must know who you are. You must be comfortable and confident in your skin. You must love both the internal and the external you. You must not allow anyone to change who you are. If you want to change something about yourself, you must make sure this is what you want.

Your identity is your ability to love who you’ve become, the ability to contribute to your own life, your personal growth, feeling secure and confident. Once you get to this emotional place, you will be able to reach new heights in any relationship.

When someone you love betrays your trust in a supposedly monogamous relationship, the shock you experience is unlike any other.  After opening your heart to the object of your affection, you are dismayed to realize that your faith was unfounded.  Unbelievably, the very person who you would have trusted with your very life has shown themselves unworthy of your confidence.  You are angry and confused, and then the real problem rears its ugly head.

You begin to question your own judgment.  You wonder how you could have been so naïve and gullible to believe that this person would be loyal to you.  Brick by brick, you begin to build an impenetrable wall around your heart as a defense mechanism.  No matter what you have to do to avoid being hurt this way again, you vow that you will protect yourself from this pain.

Unfortunately, the next time you meet someone who begins to care about you, the wall around your heart keeps them from getting dangerously close.  You feel safer holding everyone at a distance, examining every possible ulterior motive for their actions.  You don’t believe that someone could genuinely love you and want to be with you exclusively.  You won’t make that mistake again.  This time, you’ll know better.

Painting Everyone with the Same Brush

Regardless of how deceived you were by the person who broke your heart, you can’t treat every subsequent date like they are the clone of your perpetrator.  Just because one person defied your trust doesn’t mean that everyone else will do the same thing.  You have to learn how to judge each individual as a unique being, capable of being better than your last relationship.  You may not be able to change your past, but you can ruin your present by constantly worrying about your future.

Give people the benefit of the doubt, despite your previous negative experience.  Becoming jaded and suspicious won’t protect you from being hurt; it will only prevent you from the possibility of being happy again.  Don’t give your ex the satisfaction of affecting your life that profoundly with their callous behavior.  Prove to them and yourself that no matter what they did to you, it is possible for you to love openly again.

The Worst that Could Happen

You are afraid.  The last thing you want is to become vulnerable and allow yourself to get emotionally wounded all over again.  The question you should ask yourself is this:  what is the worst that could happen?  Building this thick wall to hedge against the damage your heart is meant to secure you against getting hurt.  What if it doesn’t work?  What if someone finds their way into your life, and they end up doing the exact same thing as your last partner?  Will the world end?  Will you die?

Now, what if they don’t do any of that, and they actually treat you respectfully, honoring you in everything that they do?  What if they love you endlessly and perfectly?  Are you willing to sacrifice the possibility of finding that kind of love based on an irrational fear that originated from someone who doesn’t even deserve a second thought from you?  Take that wall down brick by brick, and you may be surprised at what the world looks like without the obstruction.

Sweaty palms, a speeding heartbeat, and an expression of pure joy were all yours to enjoy when you first met your new love interest.  Colors seemed more vivid.  Every song on the radio sounded like it was made for the two of you.  You couldn’t believe how much you had in common.  You’d never laughed so freely and loved so openly before.

The relationship soon became comfortable.  As a couple, you made mutual friends and became known as a pair.  Taking your partners feelings into consideration, you were careful to treat them with respect at all times.  More often than not, you could be found by your new mate’s side during your free time.

It doesn’t matter what the reason was for your break-up.  At some point, things turned sour.  Whether it was one huge unforgivable fight or several small incidences that slowly built up resentment over time, the stress was too much for your relationship to bear.  All of a sudden you find yourself single again, and the world is a new place.  Even the little things, like going grocery shopping, are different now that you are shopping for one.  Emotionally, you’re a wreck.  How do you cope with the flood of feelings that you are experiencing right now without suffering a total break down?

Don’t Deny What You Feel

Acknowledging that you are in pain is the first step.  Denying that breaking up with your former lover hurts is as useful as pretending that a broken arm is just a scratch.  It doesn’t change the truth, and you can’t heal until you admit what’s really going on.  You shouldn’t try to put on a strong front or act as if it doesn’t bother you at all.  You aren’t fooling anyone, especially not yourself.

Accept the fact that you are feeling lonely, sad, angry, and confused.  If you did something wrong that ultimately caused the separation, you may also feel guilty.  If you were a victim of a cheating significant other, you probably feel betrayal.  Allow yourself to feel all of these emotions fully, and don’t repress them just because they are difficult.  Once you’ve let yourself embrace the distress, you can take steps to get past the agony.

Learn from Your Mistakes

Some times it is hard to imagine what good could come from a hurtful termination of a once loving relationship.  When someone you cared about hurts you, or if you made a mistake that changed the way your partner felt about you, you become so engulfed in the negative feelings that result that you can’t seem to see a “bright side”.  You should know that there can always be a silver lining to every cloud – if only for you to learn from the experience.

It will make it easier for you to cope with the trauma of losing your love interest if you realize that there is a lesson to be learned from all of this.  Ask yourself what new knowledge you have gained because of this breakup.  What can you take from this failed relationship to improve on the next one?  How can you better yourself through this situation?  The best way to deal with an emotionally draining dissolution of a relationship is to try to extract something positive, no matter how obscure that “bright side” may be.  You are hurting now, but in time, these sad feelings will dissipate.  On the other hand, the lessons you’ve learned will always stay with you.

For over a decade, the general public has been deafened by cries from the medical community warning of trans-fat and cholesterol warnings.  Recently, the American Heart Association published a report that said 90% of all Americans are now considered high risk for heart attack and stroke and that cholesterol is the snake in the grass just waiting to take a bite of our ankles, injecting us with deadly poison.  Unfortunately, all off this hype and media attention has left more people confused than informed, and few people have a real understanding that there is a difference between good and bad fats.  Even worse, the human body needs fats to survive as desperately as a newborn needs milk.  Research studies for years have shown that cholesterol actually prolongs life expectancy.  The problem is few people understand what it all means and are unable to wrap their minds around the grave differences in the types of fats that are essential.

When most folks hear the word cholesterol they immediately think they are talking about a fatal condition that will smother and collapse the arteries leading to a certain fate of heart attack or stroke.  What few people know is that cholesterol and fats are vital to every organ and function of the human body.  Cholesterol is what turns sunlight into Vitamin D and regulates our calcium absorption, cholesterol turns into bile salt on the liver so that we can digest the fats we consume and cholesterol is found in every cell in the body.  When old cells die, cholesterol is the key player in building new cells and cholesterol is an essential component in the human body’s hormone production and several scientific journals and research paper have concluded time and time again that people with the highest levels of cholesterol actually live the longest.  Why?  Because cholesterol acts as buffer protecting the body and if we don’t eat enough of it, the body actually makes more.  Perhaps most upsetting is that while millions of people each year are prescribed statins to control cholesterol, they are in actuality being exposed to a risky carcinogen known to cause cancer.  Perhaps the medical community works under the assumption that “if the cholesterol wont kill them, the cancer will!”

Sadly, the solution to it all is realizing that balancing cholesterol and routinely consuming healthy fats is the key to longevity and illness free living!

The myth and confusion lies in the definition of fats and the misunderstanding that all fats are bad, which is absolutely the farthest thing from the truth.  Without fats, the body would not be able to function.  One of the most golden keys to health is knowing about the right kinds of fats and incorporating them into your diet on a regular basis.  Knowing about healthy fats, how to ingest them, where to get them and how much you need to remain healthy is not only easy, but is also so simple that a child could figure it out ~ as long as the medical community would agree to quit confusing the issues.

There are in fact oils, otherwise known as fats that have the power to heal the human body.  If we do not have enough of the two main types of polyunsaturated fats, our bodies will shut down and experience illness after illness.  Linoleic and alpha-linoleic fatty acids are essential and are easily found in tasty oils like flaxseed (or linseed) oils. These two fats regulate good cholesterol, maintain regular cellular structure and improve high blood pressure, arthritis, multiple sclerosis, angina, asthma and allergies just to name a few.  They help us feel regulated under stress, which everyone needs as well as provide vitality and a boost in the immune system so strong that they are used for cancer prevention and treatment.

The reason that some of these fatty oils are so beneficial is because they contain large amounts of Omega 3, ALA, essential fatty acids and DHA that our bodies need desperately to remain healthy from the moment we take our first breath.  Omega 3 fatty acids are anti-inflammatory, help to control glucose, improve skin, hair and nails and maintain proper digestion by being power packed with fiber.  Yet, these are all fats!

One of the most complete essential fatty acid supplements is Udo’s oil 3.6.9 blend.  This blend is an unrefined blend of special oils that has been delivered in a perfect ratio making adequate consumption a breeze.  All of the natural oils contained in this mixture are proven to improve digestion, provide rapid absorption to every cell of the body and offer amazing health benefits that range from cardiovascular health to improved vitality.  One bonus to using a pre-mixed blend such as this is that it also contains ample amounts of DHA, which is necessary for proper brain function.

This is one of the most complete Omega 3 blends and is comprised of all the healthy fatty acids you need to remain at your optimum health.  Organic flax, coconut, sesame and sunflower oils as well as soy lecithin and DHA make this a perfect blend to improve mood, concentration, stamina, vitality, performance and reduce the risks of deadly diseases down the road.  There isn’t one person on Earth who can’t benefit from these beneficial, life-producing fats!  In fact, if every person would begin to understand the role of fats in our overall wellbeing; few would resist the opportunity to take them.

While the fat and cholesterol issues may be confusing at first, the bottom line is that the solution has been right under our noses all along.  Omega 3 fatty acids, commonly found in natural compounds, hold the life giving power and are beneficial to every human.  Not only are they economical they behold the power to literally save our lives, are easy to find and a pleasant additive to any diet.  Interestingly, they have been a mainstay in animal feeds for decades.  If you are confused where to start, the quality oils available at Udo’s are certainly a winner.  The time has come for the population to realign themselves with the healthy destiny awaiting us by regaining control of our body’s and the substances that we put into them.

Losing weight is not the most welcomed task in life.  Many people know they are getting fatter, yet continue to simply buy bigger clothes and readjust their vision of their bodies.  With an estimated 73% of all people now being considered overweight it is no surprise that the diet industry has become a multi-billion dollar enterprise.  Sadly, with all this information out there, we are still fat and most of us still don’t know how to lose weight effectively.

No matter what else you have heard, in order to lose weight you must burn more calories than you consume in a day for many days in a row!  This means you can’t diet for a week or two, give up and then try again. In fact, yo-yo dieting, binging and drugs are actually making your chances of ever losing weight an impossibility!  Obviously, no miracle drug to weight loss has been invented, for if it had – everyone in the world would be at a healthy weight and plus sized clothes and super value meals would not be being sold by the truckloads each and every year!

So now you are asking, what are the five steps to weight loss?  The five steps to weight loss include lots of common sense, accountability on your part and some good old-fashioned commitment and hard work.  When you really want to lose weight, you will realize that there is simply one healthy way to do it and taking shortcuts and pills is not the answer!

1. You are what you eat!  No matter how much you exercise or how many meals you skip, you can’t eat junk food if you want to lose weight.  Not only does it poison your system but it gives you absolutely no nutritional value, which puts your body in a constant state of confusion.  You have to eat right.  This means lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, lean meats and other proteins, low fat dairy products and nothing that is high sugar or refined.  The easiest way to remember how to eat well is to understand that you should eat only things that are or once were alive!  This way you won’t be putting toxins and chemicals into your body, your pH will balance out, your metabolism will act and you will be getting ample amounts of fiber in your diet to effectively eliminate!  All of those people with potbellies that just won’t seem to go away should understand that it is a result of the foods they eat!
2. Eating right involves two things.  The first is the foods you should eat, as described above and the second is the amounts you should eat.  Essentially, your stomach is no bigger than your balled fist (at least it used to be that way). When you eat platefuls of food, you stretch out your stomach making it much more difficult to feel satisfied.  Next time you eat, it will take more food to make you feel full and so on and so forth.  The ONLY way to fix this is to eat smaller portion sizes.  Eat 5-6 times a day and never put more on your plate than your fist is big.  If the steak and baked potato are larger than your fist, you can assume that the remainder is going to end up precisely in your hips, thighs or stomach – exactly where you don’t want it.  Make sure you eat your last meal at least three hours before bed and instead of snacking throughout your day, plan to eat a little something every three hours.  Yes, you will feel hungry for a week or so until your body adjusts to eating less.  Yes, you will feel deprived.  If you want to lose weight, you have to go through this period in order to see a lasting difference. It takes commitment and the real desire to make positive changes in your life that will last.
3. Try as many people do to lose weight without exercise, you have to do it.  The thing is that exercise doesn’t have to be 2 hours in a gym.  Moving about, gardening, and taking a walk, playing with the kids, taking the stairs…anything that gets you moving.  The goal is to get your heart pumping and do things you enjoy so that you will continue to do them.  If you hate to run, don’t waste your money on a treadmill!  Just get out there, move around, and make use of your body.  Sitting still and remaining sedentary does not burn calories.  The only thing that burns calories and effectively manipulates your metabolism to act is healthy food and exercise!  Beware, just because you have exercised does not mean that you can eat a bigger lunch or dinner!  In fact, the opposite is true!  Remember, you want to use up those calories from your food.
4. Get your mind right.  When people decide to do something in their lives, it takes an act of congress to stop them.  Our minds are the most powerful asset we have and using tools like visualization, meditation, goal setting and positive motivation will align your body with your mind.  If these two are not working together, there is no way you will ever lose weight and experience healthy weight in your life.  You have to be positive in your head at all times and DECIDE that you are in control of what you think and feel.  Why?  Because you are!  Thinking that this will never work, convincing yourself that some extra Twinkies won’t hurt is self-sabotage.  Every person plays different mind games with themselves and you have to work as hard on your mind as you do on your body.  What your mind decides, your body will follow. So many people are desperate to lose weight and think it’s what they really want; but they aren’t willing to work for it in their mind or in their body!  When you get your mental state right, you cannot fail.
5. Cleanse yourself!  There are many options available that will help your body to get rid of the toxins and poisons that you have been putting in it for years.  You have to flush these out of your system completely and detoxify in order for your body to start absorbing vital minerals, nutrients and vitamins from your food.  You also need to restore your energy and balance and the only way to do this is to effectively detoxify.  Use herbal blends essential to detoxifications or make a few appointments for a round of colonics.  When you finally begin to lose all the garbage being stored inside your cells, organs and tissues you will have the energy you need to exercise and the desire you need to eat healthy foods.  You will feel so much better once you are “cleaned” that you will wonder how you lived so long in the muck of your system.  Stay on a detox plan ensuring that you aren’t overloading and sabotaging your body’s desire and willingness to be healthy and maintain desirable weights.

With so many diets out there having you counting everything from carbohydrates to proteins and sugars, the last thing you need is another confusing diet plan that is supposed to be a cure all to everything!  Before you agree, ask yourself what proof of substance any of those other diet plans have?  Just because a famous celebrity said he or she lost 50 pounds by following the newest routine doesn’t mean it’s true or that you will, right?  One diet plan you may want to consider, is more a way of life eating trend than a diet and can literally transform your health and your weight along the way!  The best part is that it is easy to understand and follow and is based on scientific and medical evidence that actually makes perfect sense.

This diet is basically called the separation diet and the idea is to NOT mix proteins and carbohydrates when you eat.  For those of you who love your steak and baked potato; you are bound to be slightly disappointed; however when you realize the health benefits you are bound to make do.  Probably the most important thing to understand is this diet isn’t really a “diet” at all, at least not by conventional terms!  It is in fact a completely new way to approach food and eating habits so that your digestive system can be efficient and so the rest of your organs and tissue can find comfortable balance.  This means that when you start separating your proteins and carbohydrates you will be able to experience an optimal existence of health.  Here’s why!

When you separate foods that contain proteins and carbohydrates, you are able to expedite your digestive process.  This boils down to the fact that foods are either acid or alkaline producing.  So when you eat foods that contain both acid (meats, fish, cheese) and alkaline (fruits and vegetables) you are essentially causing fermentation in your intestines.  The protein foods you eat only require a medium level of acid in order to be digested and expelled properly.  They naturally spark pepsin to be activated, which is essential for breaking down the proteins.  On the other hand, the digestion of starches or carbohydrates requires an alkaline balance to expedite digestion.  With carbohydrates, the digestive process begins in the mouth with the release of an enzyme called ptyalin and the complex starches are broken down in part even before they reach the stomach.  If you were to eat steak with alkaline foods (carbohydrates), you are hindering the natural process of your digestion.

Luckily, there are foods that are considered neutral meaning that they get along with both the proteins and the carbohydrates that you eat.  For instance dairy products (with the exception of milk), olive oil, all green leafy vegetables, raw or smoked meats, fish, nuts (except peanuts), mushrooms, olives, avocados, blueberries and herbs are considered neutral foods.  One easy example of a daily meal plan separating proteins and carbohydrates would be as follows. Breakfast can be fruit of your choice.  Fruit should always be eaten alone because of the sugar content.  For lunch, you could have a baked potato with sour cream, butter and chives and for dinner, eating a piece of fish with grilled mushrooms would be ideal.  Unfortunately, common food choices like sandwiches go against the idea of the separation diet!

Essentially the problems that most people encounter by eating the common meat, veggies and bread meals that have become mainstay are stymied digestion and the inability to maintain proper pH balance or expel toxins properly from the colon.  Long term, this causes just about every discomfort you might experience including things like headaches, joint pain, bloatedness, inability to lose or gain weight, fatigue, acne, and millions more.  The bottom line is that the human body requires balance and that digestion is designed to break down foods so that you are able to gain the nutrients, minerals and positive factors while eliminating any of the things you don’t need for survival and health.

As you can see, most of us have it all wrong.  There are few places you can go for lunch where you won’t be offered a protein and a carbohydrate at the same time.  However, this is an extremely easy plan to follow.  When you place all the foods in your fridge in three lists, marking them as either protein, carbohydrate or neutral – you can have a simplistic diagram of foods you can eat together and foods you can’t.  There really is nothing simpler than this.

What most people find is that following this diet causes numerous positive affects on the entire body and mind.  You will find yourself satiated more quickly, less hungry, more regular and feeling like you should in a matter of days.  You will also be able to understand the affects that food has on your body and your digestion, gaining the most nutritional value from every meal without negative side effects.  So what are you waiting for?  You can still have your grilled T-bone and baked potato, just not together and there is certainly nothing wrong with a steak and salad for a nice meal!

One thing that the separation diet will do is to slowly balance your weight.  If you are overweight, you will find that you lose weight more easily.  Likewise, if you are under weight, you will find that you are able to build up your body to a healthy weight.  This eating program truly provides the best balance for your body as a whole and will break the teeter-totter affect of yo-yo dieting!

There has been a lot of controversy lately regarding the acid versus alkaline environments of our inner bodies.  The truth is that few people understand the difference and imagine that if they eat tons of lemons their bodies are acidic.  In this example, the opposite is true.   Essentially everything that we eat, drink, touch with our skins or inhale into our lungs leaves a residue on our body tissue called an ash that is either alkaline or acidic. These substances have the ultimate power to completely change our body pH!  Interestingly, this isn’t a new theory and in fact was explored some 75 years ago by a renowned doctor and chemist who published a health report in 1933, stating the incredible affects that pH has on the human body and more importantly on the prevention and treatment of common disease in society.

Every one of us has a genetic history and habits that predispose us to illness or disease.  Have you ever stopped to consider why some people never develop cancer or are rarely sick, even though they seem to make lifestyle choices that aren’t great?  Have you ever wondered why some people can recover from a late stage diagnosis and another person will die in just a few months from the same thing?  The answer quite simply could be in the ability or inability to balance the pH of the body.  Hopefully you trust your doctor, but it is vital to understand that you medical provider by and large only treats your symptoms.  If you go in with a cold, he gives you decongestants.  If you are diabetic, you are given forms of insulin.  If you have chronic infections, you are given antibiotics.  While this may give you temporary relief, the symptoms will return and worsen because the root cause has yet to be addressed.  Worse yet, the medications you take force your body to work even harder to stabilize and you get stuck in a never ending cycle of poor health and imbalance.

You may be wondering why, if a solution was so simple – would doctors NOT want to address your pH balance.  This answer can be found in the billions of dollars that doctors and pharmaceutical companies make on medications.  It can also be linked to the fact that the majority of doctors are trained to only treat symptoms and disease; not total body wellness.  The fact is that with proper pH balance and detoxification – illness and disease could likely be cut in half!

In fact, herbalists, nutrition experts and even many physicians are seeing the influential affect that pH balance has on the body.  This may seem too simple to be true, but the explanation is quite clear!  When the body becomes too acidic it dampens the function of all the internal organs.  When too many toxins build up adding to the acidity the body is forced to dive into alkaline reserves to replenish it.  If there isn’t enough stored in your tissues, organs and bones, every single function of your body cannot work properly and your body will be working overtime trying to compensate.  This means that you will literally lose the power to do all the things your body is supposed to do innately. Your body will strive to keep tissues, organs and cellular balanced depriving every cell of your body of the vital nutrients and minerals you need to survive with health.

When you consider that your tissues, organs and cells are comprised of mostly water and that water is alkaline by nature, it makes sense.  Normal pH levels are between 6.0 and 7.5!  When the number dips below 6.0, it means that your body is poisoned or toxic and that your body is in a constant state of trying to raise your pH to acceptable levels.  You will become deprived of calcium, sodium; magnesium because your body is working so hard to buffer or neutralize acid that is steals from your bones and tissues.  The human body knows that pH balance and more importantly, an alkaline environment is necessary for survival, yet we continually eat and expose ourselves to things that make us acidic.

The good news is that the condition is reversible.  If you begin testing your morning urine pH using dipsticks, you will have a deeper understanding of whether or not your body is too acidic.  If you are poisoned with acids, your urine will be flushing them out and your morning pH will be low.  If this is consistent, you can be assured that you are in desperate need of alkalizing!  How do you do this?  The first step is to detox using colon hydrotherapy or herbal colon cleanses.  The second step is to begin eating foods that are alkaline like high fiber, green vegetables.  There are tons of foods that are beneficial for raising or lowering pH depending on your needs.

The vast majority of us are too acidic, meaning we have low pH!  This is quite simply because we live on diets of refined foods that are high fat and sugar with minimal fiber or nutrients.  What this means is that we are essentially poisoning ourselves.  This condition leads to almost every common, subtle or major illness of the human body.  For instance, fatigue, cardiovascular damage, weight gain, obesity, arthritis, bladder or kidney conditions, immune dysfunction, premature aging, yeast or fungus growth, hormonal concerns, diabetes, cancer, digestive issues and many more.  In fact, nearly every dysfunction that you may feel whether it is insomnia or heartburn; is a result of your bodies’ pH being improperly balanced.

There is no need to live in worry or stress about body pH.  As simply as you have caused damaged you can reverse it and allow your body an opportunity to heal.  By choosing an effective means of detox and cleansing combined with a commitment to eat a healthier diet that will maintain pH balance; you can expect to feel better and lengthen your life minimizing many illnesses.  Urine and saliva dipsticks are available at plenty of sources online or in local drug stores, are very inexpensive and can be used easily in the privacy of your own home.  When you begin to see for yourself how much better you feel by properly paying attention to and balancing your pH you will see that this 75 years of wisdom makes a substantial difference in your life.  While doctors will continue to treat symptoms and disease, it is your responsibility to treat the root source of your problems.  More than likely, they are stemming from an improper balance of acids and alkaline in your body.

Since you were a child, you have been told that you are what you eat.  You have been given guidelines to nutrition and at some level, you know what is healthy or not.  You have heard it said repeatedly, that if you put garbage in – you get garbage out.  The older you get the more drastic the implications of feeding yourself junk will become and sadly, it doesn’t have to be this way.  Within a week you can change the state of your imbalanced body and begin living and feeling better than you ever have before.

You can hardly turn on the television, flip through a magazine or visit a webpage without seeing something about the amazing, life changing, radical, super charged powers of Acai Berries and the other range of newly dubbed power fruits that are taking over the internal cleansing and diet markets.  It doesn’t take a genius to realize that as soon as the word Acai Berries rolled off Oprah Winfrey’s tongue, that millions of crooked marketing scams would be born daunting the “awesome” benefits to adding these fruits to your diet. Some claim longer life, others claim super quick weight loss, anti-aging and others boast that they are cancer preventatives.  There is in fact so much hype, particularly about Acai Berries, that marketers have created a black hole in the market with a stream of consumers being ripped off by dime store products being sold for big bucks.  Worse, is that whatever benefits are true have been minimized by the warnings, complaints and hysterical media hype about the so called “power fruits.”

You might be wondering about the truth!  Not the truth from television but more importantly the hows, whys and real facts that make power fruits such as Acai, Pomegranate, blueberries and black raspberries such potent and beneficial fruits!  For those seeking answers, here is everything you need to know without the marketing edge.

YES!  Acai Berries, pomegranates and blue berries are absolutely beneficial power fruits.  In fact, there is a host of scientific research and studies that prove that power fruits, which are essentially fruits that are red and purple (inside and out), provide a wealth of health benefits.  Moreover, most of this research is not new.  In fact, for a decade, medical practitioners and scientists have been encouraging people to eat their “colors” adding richly hued fruits as these to the daily diet because they all contain an ingredient called…polyphenols.  Now, to add another word that you have no doubt heard is antioxidants.  Polyphenols are essentially very strong antioxidants.  What are antioxidants?  Antioxidants are a group of vitamins, minerals, and enzymes that help protect the body from forming free radicals. Free radicals are atoms or groups of atoms that can damage the cells, impairing the immune system and leading to infections and various degenerative diseases. … Including but not limited to cancer!

Because so many people have such an immense fear of the word cancer, these power fruits are usually listed in a sentence that contains the same word.  That is because power fruits have extremely high levels of antioxidants as well as Vitamins A, C and E and trace minerals and nutrients that positively influence the human body. The sheer antioxidant levels can help prevent cellular destruction and the oxidation of the cells in your body.  Stated simply, cancer and other degenerative illnesses alter your cellular structure and antioxidants help to prevent that from happening by killing off the toxins in your body that are consumed, inhaled and absorbed every day.  Obviously, this doesn’t mean that you can smoke cigarettes, inhale gasoline fumes and eat fast food with the expectation that these fruits will reverse it all; but they will help.

Doctors have always stressed the importance of good nutrition and it is largely ignored.  When you add super fruits to your diet, you are easily getting high doses of antioxidants as well as trace nutrients and vitamins essential to wellbeing.  Unlike many fruits, these also contain fiber, protein, essential fatty acids, substances with natural anti inflammatory properties and a host of other innate ingredients that are beneficial to every organ, cellular and blood function of the body.  In taking fresh juices or the fruit itself provides an immune system boost that is unsurpassed by other supplements and they also contain resveratrol, tannins, flavonoids, anti-stress properties and natural anti-bacterial properties.  What sets the super fruits aside from other beneficial fruits is that they are more complete; offering highly condensed amounts of these ingredients.

The deep colored power fruits have been linked to lowering cholesterol, preventing cancer, lowering cholesterol, balancing sugars, improving digestion and reflux disorders, immune benefits and heart health.  In an independent and highly published study at the University of Florida, Acai berries were used to treat cancer cells and it was proven that the high levels of antioxidants did in fact cease the metastases of the cancer.  Because of the ingredients naturally found in these fruits, they have also been linked to reducing the signs of aging, improving skin and hair as well as improving cognitive memory.  While this is all absolutely promising, it is important to understand that we have known all along that fruits are beneficial.  It seems that now we are learning that these richly colored, deep fruits are just MORE beneficial!

Many power fruit blends are being marketed to cleanse the colon.  Colon cleansing and body detoxification is perhaps one of the biggest benefits that people should take advantage of and has a life giving power all of its own.  With the additions of fiber and other trace nutrients, these super fruits will in fact help balance elimination and provide cleansing when used long term.  Still, it is recommended to engage in a program of detox or cleansing that is more thorough at the onset to be able to quickly eliminate toxins and carcinogens in your body.  These fruits will certainly play a part in maintaining that state of well being.

Consumers looking for the sheer life giving power of these fruits should use common sense and caution.  Obviously, Acai berries only found raw in the Amazon will not be hitting the shelves of your local grocer.  The other fruits are more easily found.  If you choose a supplement or drink blend make sure to do your research to ensure that the ingredients are pure derivatives and not just some by-product of the fruit itself.  Keep in mind that there are many companies out there capitalizing on the free exposure these fruits are gaining and adding tons of inert ingredients to their supplements in order to trick consumers.  The real thing should say so on the labels and there is nothing better than eating the raw fruit or plant and a particularly successful option is juicing the hulls, flesh and seeds your self at home.

By making a conscious choice to add power fruits to your diet, you are certainly changing the course of your future health.  One of the bonuses to all the media exposure of power fruits is that millions of dollars have been spent researching the claims and powers of these fruits and the conclusions are all in favor.  When it comes to your health, what you choose to put into your body is the largest marker for what your future holds.  It certainly is reasonable that power fruits should be one of those things you choose to include in your diet daily.

When someone mentions the word meditation, there are many people who envision some monk like folks wearing robes worshiping the Earth on a hilltop.  It can be a difficult concept to understand at first, and while the word for some may be a turn-off, the experience is no doubt an incredible journey through self towards relaxation and awareness.  Ancient wisdoms from every facet of religion or culture tell us one thing…the answers we seek are always inside us.  The difficult part is calming the mind and ego long enough to muster up the courage to face who we are on the inside!  Nevertheless, there is a secret power to meditation that enables each of us to draw strength, courage; faith and a positive attitude from behind the masks we tend to wear everyday.

You may think that you have to be spiritually adept or gifted in some mystical way to meditate.  Nothing can be further from the truth.  Meditation simply requires the willingness to allow your mind to focus without using the wit of your ego to control it.  This means allowing it to wander and filter through the millions of thoughts you have on a regular basis to get to something that is meaningful.  It is difficult for many to meditate simply because they are charting new territory and few of us understand how to BE without our ego besides us.  Luckily, our minds are deeper and far smarter than we think they are and as long as we have the willingness, desire and intention…anyone can meditate!

Your life may be busy enough, and suddenly you are being asked to set more time aside, quiet time, to meditate.  Why?  Meditation has the amazing ability to heal us.  Meditation can heal us from illness, stress, worry, frustration, angst or fear.  Meditation can help your body to heal, can repair the way you think and move and can restore the sense of calm that you must embody to live well.  When you consider the way most of us move through our lives, we are simply going from the pot into the fire.  We are busy, overwhelmed with worry about everything from our children’s health to paying our bills.  We are consumed with the material world we live in, keeping our yards tidy, driving a nice car or holding down fancy jobs.  We measure success by what we have and what we do; yet few of us are genuinely happy.  Few of us think positively.  Few of us have faith that our lives will turn out exceptional and few of us know how to relinquish the reins of control we falsely feel we have on everything.  Meditation allows us to do this with simplicity!

In order to be healthy, you must be able to remain in a state that is calm and steady.  For decades now, doctors have been telling us that our stress is what makes us or facilitates our illness.  Our state of mind is what controls everything that happens around us.  If you have ever witnessed a 3 year old throwing a tantrum, you can see with wild abandon that everything going on in their life at that moment stems from what their mind is thinking.  Imagine that same two 3 year old playing imaginatively in their room, pretending to fly like a bird and you will notice that in both instances, their mind is what makes it all real.  When you were three, you were able to meditate without thinking about it and could totally immerse yourself in something!  Now that you are older, you have forgotten or lost that inner child and feel you must remain one step ahead and constantly in control of everything.  But, you know what?  You aren’t in control of a thing.  Meditation centers your mind and can help you achieve everything you want and desire in life, whether it be weight loss or the know-how to plant a new garden.  Your answers are always within and often, so are the questions!

Meditation allows us to clear the poisons from our mind and reach a place where we become all-knowing and faithful beings.  Daily, you may struggle with answers or conflicts in your life and you allow emotions rather than mindfulness to direct you.  Meditation takes you to a place of mindfulness where you have choices, options and direction for your future.  If you have a specific question in mind, you can simply lie down and focus on that question to see what thoughts will race through.  You may experience some visions, as waking dreams or you may close off the negativity long enough to see the solution you have been waiting for.  If you are full of angst or stress after a long day, meditation can heal it, restore your calm, and balance so that your physical body is not harmed by it.  If you are ill, you can call on the utilities of your mind to help you heal knowing that your mind controls all things bodily.

For those who are skeptical, there are many ways to prove the secret powers of meditation. Perhaps the simplest, is to learn how to control your own pulse and heartbeat. By focusing on your heartbeat and blood pressure, you will begin to feel the rush of blood through your veins and hear your heart.  As you focus your mind on stilling that feeling, on something peaceful; within seconds your heart will respond.  The same is true for anything you encounter in life! Meditation can help you to remain in a place where life is always good and where you receive divinity through yourself.

The best part is that you can learn to meditate anywhere.  You can literally have the tools to experience livelihood and life within your reach and can empower yourself with the ability to never feel like a victim again.  Learning to meditate unlocks many doors inside you that allow you to see the world and your own life differently, better!  Meditation has been an integral part of health and healing since before Christ and has been used by every religion and culture as a way to solve problems effectively.  In modern times, there is extensive proof that meditation unlocks secret powers to healing and abundance.  Isn’t it time you likened yourself to what you really want and desire in life?  Isn’t it time you used the power of your mind for positive energy and solution based answers?  Meditation does all of this and much more and is as easy as closing your eyes and counting, remaining willing and able to accept your thoughts and process them without being burdened by the ideals of ego.

Each of us harbors the private embarrassment and humiliation that comes along with bowel movement and flatulation.  Netiher are pleasant dinner conversations and while few of us are talking about it, around 98% of the population takes the extra second to sneak a peek at their poop before they flush!  Interestingly, our feces holds the secrets to our health and wellbeing and in many cases is the underlying issue that results in illness, disease, infection and lack of vitality.  So what’s the scoop with poop?

The colon is essentially the body’s sewer system and just like pipes eventually get laden with left over debris, grit, sludge and unspeakable substances our colons do the same.  This leftover sediment is the stuff to sticky or toxic to pass through the bowels and is full of an array of toxins that few of us can even pronounce.  Gross to say the least.  Now consider what happens when you leave all of that there stuck to the pipes of your colon for years and years.  Unfortunately, that is what most people do and since they can’t see it, smell it or feel as though they are suffering from it they simply leave it alone.  While the thought of colon hydrotherapy may have the weak at heart running from cover, the expanse of harmful bacteria living and thriving in your colon is actually even more grotesque.

Even more upsetting is that the typical diet eaten by most people consists of high fat, high sugar, LOW fiber, refined foods that are laden with chemicals and preservatives.  When these foods are eaten, the toxins literally take a joy ride through our circulatory and endocrine system where they deposit their raging poisons to every organ system in the body.  There, they sit for eons because our bodies are unable to process them properly and they cause 90% of the symptoms that we “feel” and assume are just part of life.  Sluggishness, fatigue, muscle aches, pains, stress, reduced mental function, proneness to small and annoying infections like acne or sinus infection and eventually larger health issues like cancer or diabetes are all rooted in the toxic debris that is floating around our bodies.   This is no way to live, at least no way to live well!

Subsequently, the main purpose of colon hydrotherapy and herbal cleansing is to gently cleanse the colon, flushing out harmful bacteria and toxins so that the good bacteria essential to health and vitality can thrive.  While the procedure may seem invasive or harsh it is actually very comfortable and does not cause explosive diarrhea or cramping like laxatives do.  It is also surprisingly discreet as all the fecal matter is flushed through a series of tubes and is never seen or smelled by the technician or the person having the procedure.  Tempered water mixed with a gentle cleansing agent is used to break up the toxins so that they can be effectively removed allowing the body to work as it is innately designed.  This can mean weight loss and a sense of feeling better than you have in a very long time.  Depending on your diet and the severity of “grime” in your colon, it may be necessary to do this procedure several times.

For people who are hesitant or extremely shy there are options that allow you to perform colon hydrotherapy in the privacy of your own home however, the equipment to get started is rather expensive. The other option is to purchase high quality herbal blends designed to gently and effectively clean out the colon.  Typical herbs included in these mixes are Fennel Seed, Psyllium Husks, Flax Seed, Aloe Vera, Licorice Root, Peppermint Leaf, Guar Gum, Marshmallow Root and Papaya Fruit. They are high fiber mixtures that allow for effective elimination and can be taken orally.  While the results using herbs may not be as immediate, they are a much better option that doing nothing at all.  The bottom line is that there is no reason to live in a poisoned environment and the only way to free our bodies up to perform and most importantly feel well is to clean the junk that is little by little running us into the ground.

Colon hydrotherapy and herbal cleansing are essentially rejuvenation procedures!  Perhaps you don’t recognize the need for it because you have become so accustomed to feeling bad, to having digestive problems, heartburn, bloating, headaches, hormonal fluctuations, gas, being unable to lose weight or sleep as well as a plethora of other common  ailments that you encounter often.  You may not even realize how tired and slow you are until you are afforded the chance to feel better and most people are so used to feeling bad, drained of energy and depleted from the raging toxins in their body; that they may not recognize their symptoms as a health problem.  At least not until they experience quality colon cleansing and realize in an epiphany moment that they were just dirty.

The experience is very similar to putting filthy gas filled with sediment in your car and taking a trip only to experience harmful exhaust, inability to accelerate and quite possibly engine failure.  Once you wash away the poor gasoline and fill the car with new, clean gas, it purrs like a kitten and is ready for the open road.  After colon hydrotherapy, you too will be ready for the open road to freedom and wellness that has been simply tainted by the dirty fuel you have been feeding yourself unknowingly for years.